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I went recently back to Vipassana, a 10 days meditation course in the blue mountains. This was my second time here and interestingly enough it was an entirely different experience than the last time. This time, it helped me to deeply explore the teachings and go further in my meditation. A concept came through that was stronger than last time for me and it was Anicca (meaning impermanence in Pali).
Impermanence is all around us. Living in a physical world everything is impermanent and even those things that are not physical like our thoughts, believes, our tastes are completely different than years ago, and they will keep changing also.
Everything was, is and will be changing all the time. Accepting that change can save us a lot of trouble and miseries.
I’m not talking about resignation, or giving up or anything like that, I’m talking about acceptance. In that acceptance there is wisdom and in not accepting there is attachment.
Attachment is a very popular concept these days, but the reason that attachment is so connected to unhappiness is because everything is changing all the time> If we are attached to something that is changing, guess what, that will change and we are going to feel lost or betrayed.
Once we deeply understand that everything is impermanent, everything takes a different perspective. It’s harder to be worry about something that is bounded to change.
Love relationships are not an exception to impermance. We just have to look back to past experiences to realize that everything keep changing, our partners in past relationships have changed or we’ve changed, or the environment changed and that could be the reason for a relationship to stop working (or to change J).
It doesn’t mean that every relationship’s destiny is to finish, I believe that every relationship’s destiny is to change because the people that is involved in it changes every second of their life. In some situations the relationship can become more mature strong and keep growing in a healthy way. In some others might happen that both parties are heading to different paths.
There is no one to blame, there is just something to understand: Anicca (impermanence).
I invite you to do an exercise: think of one thing that is bothering you the most. jTry to observe it as if it’s a movie, without any attachment to it whatsoever.. Pause for a second and know that it will change.
How do you feel?
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